Praise and Affirmation

Chapter 5, “Praise and Affirmation,” is the first of three chapters that examine families’ everyday practices, based on ethnographic observations of six Centerville families over the course of a year. This chapter describes parents’ use of praise and affirmation in and around the home. Consistent with their expressed belief that praise boosts children’s self-esteem, parents dispensed praise for a wide array of accomplishments, however small, in dramatic contrast to the ethnographic cases discussed at the beginning of the chapter. Praise ranged from the automatic to the strategic and inventive. By age three, children were adept at praising themselves and soliciting praise from adults. The chapter presents vignettes of observed episodes that illustrate the complex ways in which praise was garnered, enacted, and sustained by parents and children. This chapter also describes praise and affirmation dispensed by others outside the home, including teachers and coaches who regularly interacted with the children.