Loneliness and Longing: Conscious and Unconscious Aspects

Loneliness and longing is a huge topic. After evolving for millions of years, we social mammals have developed a profoundly complex system for attachment. The experience of non-connection can range from mild longing to a catastrophic affective state with lifelong consequences. Willock, Bohm, and Curtis have enlisted 25 authors to engage this loneliness behemoth theoretically and clinically. Their stated intent was to “address the inner sense of loneliness—that is, feeling alone even in the company of others—by drawing on different aspects of loneliness and longing” (p. i). These aspects included loneliness in the consulting room, the relationship between loneliness and love, the effects of social networking and the Internet, how loneliness changes throughout the life cycle, and healing the analyst’s loneliness. It is a broad net, indeed, that is required to contain such a creature.