Rx for the Times

This article originally appeared in March 2009 Drug, Device and Biotechnology Committee Newsletter. Laughter is tranquilizer with no side effects. Arnold H. Glasgow Members of Drug, Device and Biotech Committee represent, among others, pharmaceutical companies who manufacture vast array of products that improve quality of peoples' lives. In these trying economic times, where virtually no is immune from stressors of money and economy, some of us may find ourselves seeking out benefits of our clients' products help alleviate impact that stress is having on our lives. Although I am not doctor and even though these newsletters typically discuss relevant legal issues, I have chosen use this month's newsletter offer prescription of sorts of my own those who choose read on-laughter. Although there are dozens of legal issues that I could have written about, I chose share these witty court orders instead, in hopes that, in end, you will chuckle, laugh or just smile, and, even if only for moment, put aside stress of your daily lives and relax. Rock, Paper, Scissors A judge in Florida ordered lawyers in case engage in what judge called a new form of alternative dispute resolution-a game of paper, The order, issued by U.S. District Judge Gregory Presnell, directs parties meet at neutral location or, if they cannot agree on one, on courthouse steps. The order reads, in part: This matter comes before Court on Plaintiffs designate location of Rule 30(b)(6) deposition (Doc. 105). Upon consideration of Motion--the latest in series of Gordian knots that parties have been unable untangle without enlisting assistance of federal courts--it is ORDERED that said is DENIED. Instead, Court will fashion new form of alternative dispute resolution, wit: at 4:00 P.M. on Friday, June 30, 2006, counsel shall convene at neutral site agreeable both parties. If counsel cannot agree on neutral site, they shall meet on front steps of Sam M. Gibbons U.S. Courthouse, 801 North Florida Ave., Tampa, Florida 33602. Each lawyer shall be entitled be accompanied by paralegal who shall act as an attendant and witness. At that time and location, counsel shall engage in (1) game of rock, paper, scissors. The winner of this engagement shall be entitled select location for 30(b)(6) deposition be held somewhere in Hillsborough County during period July 11-12, 2006. If either party disputes outcome of this engagement, an appeal may be filed and hearing will be held at 8:30 A.M. on Friday, July 7, 2006 ... (1) Court Ordered Lunch In this case, counsel for plaintiff asked defense counsel out lunch discuss some pending discovery issues. Defense counsel rejected offer, leaving plaintiff's counsel with no choice but seek relief from court. In response plaintiff's Motion Compel Acceptance of Lunch Invitation court ordered as follows: Conversation has been called the socializing instrument par excellence (Jose Ortega y Gasset, Invertebrate Spain) and one of greatest pleasures in life (Somerset Maugham, The Moon and Sixpence). John Dryden referred Sweet discourse, banquet of mind (The Flower and Leaf). Plaintiff's counsel extended lunch invitation Defendant's counsel to have discussion regarding discovery and other matters. Plaintiff's counsel offered pay for lunch. Defendant's counsel failed respond until motion was filed. Defendant's counsel distrusts Plaintiff's counsel's motives and fears that Plaintiff's counsel's purpose is persuade Defendant's counsel of lack of merit in defense case. …