When sacrificing self is the only way out: A tribute to my mother

In this perspective I reflect on the experiences of my mother as observed in the last 15 years of both our lives. While apparently a confident, no-nonsense woman, my mother has become a victim of patriarchy. She has only known one man and is still living with the man who has betrayed her throughout their marriage. Today she finds herself HIV-positive. The article begins with her story. I detail the betrayal, lies and alcohol abuse together with the messages she received on her wedding day about being a good wife. It proceeds to demonstrate how powerful patriarchy is in maintaining the subordination of women, using social justice and feminist theories as analytical tools. Essentially this perspective holds that the pervasive nature of patriarchy makes marriage a sacrifice of the self. For many women the economic, social, cultural and contextual pressures make marriage (even with agency) the only possibility – a true sacrifice of the self. I conclude by positioning religion and education as possible tools to challenge patriarchy.